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Hilarious New Mom Poem Puts Dads Who Sleep Through Fussy Baby on Blast

Hilarious New Mom Poem Puts Dads Who Sleep Through Fussy Baby on Blast

Part of being a new parent is accepting your nightly routine will be completely unhinged. The worst part about dealing with a fussy baby in the middle of the night isn't the dirty clothes or diapers, but the unintentional resentment you feel when you're up and at it at 3 a.m. and your partner is fast asleep.

It's okay to admit it - we've all been there. New mum Caroline Olling Andersen penned a silly poem voicing these woes, and it's pretty spot on. Titled “Daddy's Asleep,” she playfully calls out her partner who more often than not hits snooze on the built-in baby alarm.

Like most new parents, the mum's night starts out sweet. Mum and Dad kiss their baby girl goodnight and marvel at the beautiful creature they created. But the sweet scene is fleeting. Check out an excerpt from the poem below:
  • I love your daddy, I really do,
  • After all, without daddy, I wouldn't have you.
  • But from midnight 'til sunrise, it's just you and I.
  • And as each hour passes, I'm not gonna lie:
  • Mummy's love slowly fades, becomes angry and weak,
  • Because no matter what, your dad is f*cking asleep!
  • While her husband is lost in his dreams, Olling Andersen is constantly on call.
  • Mummy burps you, and holds you and rocks you with care.
  • You spew foul smelling yogurt on mummy's freshly washed hair.
  • As mummy changes her shirt, and mops vomit off the floor.
  • Your daddy farts, rolls over and continues to snore.
  • Mummy's maternal alarm goes off, it's not even three!
  • You're stirring again, you're hungry and staring at me!
  • 'I think she is hungry' your daddy offers, pulls duvet over his head,
  • Mummy sends him a death stare and rolls out of bed.
  • And no matter how passive aggressive she is, he's super-clueless to her hostility.
  • Mummy comes back, tired and drained and what is this I see?
  • Your daddy has taken over my side, doesn't give a f*ck about me!
  • Mummy kicks him and pushes him angrily away.
  • 'What's up love?' He moans in a lovingly way.
  • Your daddy has no clue he is under attack.
  • He wraps his arms around me and kisses my back.
  • And just as my love for daddy is back on the rise,
  • You start to coo in your crib and open your eyes.
  • And daddy gently nudges me to attend to your need.
  • I give him the finger as I prepare for a feed.
Once the witching hour is over and a new day arrives, all feelings of hostility are washed away. But she'll always have her poem to remind her daughter how daddy was asleep.

While the silly riddle is all in good fun, it's a living arrangement that's less than ideal for new parents. If you're raising a little one with your partner, taking care of baby should be a two-person job.

Whether you divide and conquer the night shifts or choose to take it on together, it should never fall on solely one person's plate. Prepare your relationship for baby before baby arrives so the two of you have your game plan down to a science.

Brought to you by Honest Maternity clothes in UK in the category of maternity belts.
Hilarious New Mom Poem Puts Dads Who Sleep Through Fussy Baby on Blast Reviewed by Honest Maternity Blog on 01:20 Rating: 5

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